WAGN Preseason Awards (07/03/07 7:15 PM):

As the sweltering days of summer drag on and on in the sports netherworld that is baseball season, I need something to break up the monotony and so do you. Between work and not having the NFL Network, I'm stuck in football pergatory, mere weeks until toe meets leather in South Bend and, simultaneously, nine whole long weeks away from that same moment. So, to pass the time, I'm giving you White and Gold Nation's preseason college football award watch lists. I need some help from all you guys though, because I'm not about to bury myself researching these. So send your nominations to whiteandgoldnation@yahoo.com.

The Rigsby Trophy		"Long Snapper of the Year"
Criteria/Explantion:	Pretty self explanatory. Named for former Clemson long snapper Jeff Rigsby, who, in the words of Ramblin' Racket "wank[ed] it up" against Tech in 2004, leading to Calvin Johnson's corner-of-the-endzone gamewinning catch. The true tragedy is that this award does not exist in reality. Granted, long snapper is a position that doesn't exactly lend itself to post-season awards, but I think the real question is, what kind of shlong-devoid waste of sperm can look himself in the mirror knowing that there is no little bronze statue for the top Division-1 long snapper?
Nominees: (Favorite in bold)	James Smith, Florida, R.-Jr. Nick Jarvis, Wake Forest, Sr. Garon McHone, Arizona, R-Sr. Will Collins, USC, R-Sr. Bret White, Georgia Tech, R-Jr./

The Romanowski Award		"For excellence in the field of sociopathic violence"
Criteria:	Awarded to the college football player who exhibits himself to be most dedicated to flagrant assaults upon other players (opposing or friendly) with intent to injure, maim, or otherwise decapacitate.
Nominees:	Who gets your vote for dirtiest player of the year?

The Janikowski Award		"Fat Kicker of the Year"
Criteria:	Awarded to the fattest kicker or punter in college football.
Nominees:	Dammit, I thought VT's 280 lb punter was still around. Ok, I need some help with this one.

The Phil Knight Award		"Ugliest Uniforms in Division I College Football"
Criteria:	Awarded to the team whose uniforms have been deemed the worst in Division I college football. Phil Knight, the man behind the Swoosh, will take the fall for this, regardless of how fair that may or may not be (It is fair).
Nominees:	Oregon State Wyoming Oregon Clemson Penn State

POST NUMERO UNO (07/02/07 11:34 PM):

You know the long, hot, mind-numbingly football-less days of summer have gotten to you when, at eleven at night, you decide to download Adobe's trial version of Dreamweaver and start your own sports blog. To be perfectly fair, however, this idea was probably hatched sometime during my painfully trivial work as a summer intern at an engineering firm (Yes, I, like most Tech students, do aspire to someday become one Helluvan Engineer, calculus be damned.). I would feel almost plagiaristic, however, if I failed to mention the influence of Orson Swindle over at EDSBS and the Sunday Morning Quarterback, each of whose blogs I spend way more time than I should in between doing hardware inventories. Unfortunately for me, I seem to have jumped on the blogging bandwagon too late to snag a catchy nickname or else my creativity has, along with a significant portion of my soul, been sucked out of me during the duration of my first year on the Flats. Unoriginality and admitted lameness aside, however, I think the idea of a "White and Gold Nation" is a good one and one that Tech is sorely lacking. See, I grew up in SEC country, where everything's just a little bit different and football is just a little more important than...well, anything. I'm not advocating grown men barking, cowbells, or wearing laundry detergent on one's cranium, but I do think there's something to be said for that passion. Tech Men (and Women) are a different breed and we need to embrace that passionately. I've got some goals for GT and I hope this is one way to get headed in the right direction. Hell, we've got as many national championships as Florida and Georgia combined, and we can't consistently pack a 55,000 seat stadium. White and Gold Nation, let's get out and support the Ramblin' Wreckin' Crew this year. It's going to be a special year.

See, summer's getting to me with my school-spirited fervor. I need an outlet. I need football. So do you. So, here's what's on tap for this week: Tomorrow I'm getting started on some less-than-conventional pre-season awards and then later I'll play around with this formatting and see if I can't make an honest website out of this sucker. After that, I'm planning on looking at this year's gridiron matchups and I'll definitely work on some quality anti-U[sic]GA material. Until then, To Hell with Georgia!